As he recanted his earlier self-congratulations, she spoke again."You're no younger than me, Bert."There it was; finally, he felt he understood what was on her mind. First, was the confession of self-doubt followed by the preemptive counterattack-in-advance—a sharing of insecurity"I know how old I am," he thought. "I'm old enough to know better."With that he fixed his eyes on the road and decided to say nothing further. It occurred to him that he'd never seen this insecure side of her before. After thinking about it, he realized he hadn't foreseen her non-romantic side, either. He believed that he detected stubbornness in her, too. She had never seemed insecure or stubborn in the twelve months they'd been seeing one another. All-in-all, he felt justified in his second thoughts about the whole trip.Bert thought some more and remembered that they'd never shared any kind of intimacy. There had been the time he'd appreciated her backside in secret. He judged it to be nicely rounded,. I couldn’t think about anything else. It became an all-consuming obsession. And so, here I am on my knees, a cheating whore desperately clinging to dental hygiene as the only barrier between me and the ultimate betrayal.” She swiped away another tear. “Every time I think I can’t be more awful to him, I prove myself wrong. Since I’m well aware that I’m also being awful to you with my indecision, I guess that makes me a pretty damned unforgivable person, doesn’t it?”It sounded like a confession, but Luke was in no better position to offer absolution than her own inner demons. Lacking even the vaguest notion of what to say or do that might free her from misery, he instead focused on his growing anxiety over the rapidly advancing hour. “I know I don’t need to remind you of the time, but...”“Right, of course.” Refusing his offer of assistance, she rose to her feet and shuffled to the bathroom. When she emerged, it was clear that she’d applied a little makeup to mask the evidence of her.
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